Altar to support soul transition immediately after death

When a loved one dies, their soul transitions from the physical plane to another realm. When I hear of a death of a loved one, friend, coworker, I take a moment to check in with myself and determine how I can support the situation. Some people will take action to cook food, organize funeral arrangements, take care of young children, etc. The recent deaths I’ve experienced I have been physically unable to provide such support to the bereaved. Instead, I support the soul that is transitioning through an altar.

Items to create an altar

• Photo of the person who has died

  The photo does not have be recent. It can be a heartfelt image that brings you meaning and connection. If you do not have a photo, identify an object that can serve as a substitute for the photo. For example, I used running shoes instead of a photo to honor my high school cross county coach who had died.

• Candle

  You can use both flame-burning and electronic candles here. If you don’t have a candle, a lantern, flashlight, anything that can provide a light will work. I like to use electronic candles as I can leave them on for the entirety of the altars existence.

• Items to symbolize and memorialize the person

  Use your creativity here. I have used feathers, clothes, shoes, a stethoscope (for a medical doctor), jewelry, books, journals, rosaries, flowers, to represent and symbolize the life of the person who has died. This is a way of honoring their existence on Earth and what they brought into your life with their presence.

• Optional: Items to represent the four elements of earth, air, fire, and water.

  I often include some object to symbolize the at least one – if not all - four elements of earth, air, fire, and water. For me incorporating symbols of the four elements allows me to honor the physical plane in which all humans exist. We would not be here with the four elements of earth, air, fire, and water. Get creative! Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Earth: dirt from the garden or a neighbor’s. For city dwellers, a house plant works fine too.

  • Air: an empty glass jar.

  • Fire: candles, flashlight, lantern, fairy lights.

  • Water: a glass or bowl of water.

Rituals with the altar

Once the altar is created, there a few activities you can engage in to support the soul transition of the loved one who has died.

Meditation or Prayer

Simply meditating or engaging in prayer is one activity you can do with the altar. It’s good to set a timer for 20 minutes to an hour of meditation and prayer. Remember to give yourself a break and rest during this time.

Reading Book of the Dead

In addition to meditating and prayer, you can also read from the Tibetan Book of the Dead or The American Book of the Dead. Both books include directions on how to use the chapters to support soul transition.

Journaling

Sitting near the altar can create space for personal journaling and reflecting on the loved one who is transitioning. Journaling can provide space to process feelings of grief and loss in real-time.

Letter writing

Sitting near the altar can create space to write a letter to your loved one letting them know how much they meant to you. This can also be helpful to get your thoughts on paper if you are going to speak at a celebration of life, memorial, or funeral. People often underestimate how difficult public speaking is when discussing the loss of a loved one. This difficulty increases exponentially when the loss is sudden and unexpected.

Lifetime of the altar

 Many people ask me “How long do I live up the altar?” This is entirely up to you. I have created altars for a day, some for 40-days, some for an entire year. Some spiritual and religious transitions mark the soul transition as a 40-day event. For me, that feels true. I also believe that honoring the one-year death anniversary is an important milestone.

In some spiritual traditions, honoring the one-year death anniversary provides the bereaved a full year to honor the life of the one who has died. When my father died, I was given a ritual from a Native American woman to perform every day for one year. Then one the one-year death anniversary, she gave me specific actions to do on that day to honor my father.

Altars are very personal creations, and I encourage you to do what feels right and in alighment for you and your loved one.  If you decide to create an altar, tell me what you did and feel free to share a picture!