Art to soothe the soul while grieving

After the death of my mentor in 2021, I turned to art to process my grief. My mentor was a professional artist, so it felt appropriate and in alignment to process my grief through art.

I was inspired by a painting of his that hung in his office. The piece was filled with black, white, and yellow colors and sharp, thick, and very defined black lines. The piece was called “Windows.” Something about that piece of art very much reflect the essence and soul of my mentor.

As the realization that he had died began to sink in, I was not sure if I would ever see that piece of art again. It had been such a mainstay for me each time I visited his office. Even as my mentor moved office spaces, “Windows” moved along too. For me, it was a familiar sight in unfamiliar locations.

Between one of my crying fits - those who experienced grief knows it comes and goes like the wind - I pulled out a box of canvas squares I purchased the previous year but had never opened. I pulled out my computer, went to YouTube and immersed myself in to videos related to pour at.

It seemed simple enough: mix paint with a medium, pour it on the canvas.

What I didn’t realize that I had absolutely no control over where the paint would go. The liquid in the paint allows it move on its own with the assistance of a paint brush.

My art creations were almost the exact opposite of the “Windows” piece. Instead of rigid boundaries and lines outlining the space in the painting, my canvases literally flowed and the paints poured into each other.

The pour art pieces were the perfect physical manifestation of what I was feeling. It felt as if I was too was flowing: letting my emotions out, not letting them be stuck or frozen in time. With each pour art creation, I felt I poured out my grief. I looked at my grief, seeing it dance on the canvas.

Although those first few pieces weren’t perfect pour art creations, the were created purely from my heart with the intention to honor my grief and honor my mentor. During a memorial ceremony I lead for my mentor on the one-year anniversary of his death, I put my pour art painting that was inspired by “Windows” on the altar as a symbol for my mentor.

I continue to make art and I am grateful that my heart does not ache when I do it now. I feel a deep kinship to the process of allowing the painting to move across the canvas without making it “do something” or “go somewhere.” The paint simply moves and goes on its own.

If you’d like to see some of my art pieces, please visit @blackfractalsart on Instagram.

For more information about art therapy visit the American Art Therapy Association.

Liquid red and grey paint flow in swirls on a canvas. Video by ad urpina